Nancy Marie Stubbs is the founder, editor and principle writer at Value the Vows.com. She also encourages wives through her proprietary “Living the Love” programs and coaching. Nancy is a certified life and relationship success coach specializing in helping women of faith with marriage, divorce and remarriage struggles. Nancy is passionate about marriage, homemaking, music, gardening and of course her husband Neil.
A Great Place to Start
On the Value the Vows website you’ll find lots of great information about building a magnificent marriage, strengthening your relationship with God, loving yourself so you can give to others and lots of tips for managing your home and life with ease and joy.
Take some time to explore the site, comment and share articles with your friends.
If you’re looking for a resource to get you started on your own Journey to Joy and an easy way to connect and keep updated, click here to download “3 Steps to Reconnect and Reignite Your Relationships…Build a Firm Foundation of Love, Joy, and Peace for Your Marriage”
A Message for You from Nancy
Why I Can Help/Turning My Mess into My Message
Life lessons, education, self-studies, and God’s grace helped me to overcome the mess that was my life.
I’ve known the loneliness inside a broken marriage, the devastation of divorce, and the religious and spiritual confusion of remarriage.
It took me years to understand how the guilt, shame, and blame of marriage struggles harm us spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
I studied physical education with a psychology minor to prepare me to coach gymnastics professionally which I did for 12 years. Gymnastics is a sport involving a lot of psychology and encouragement from the coach. I stopped to be available to raise my kids as coaching was also after school and travelling on weekends.
While raising my family, I worked from my home as a custom fashion designer. I spent a lot of time coaching as I was fitting garments on my clients. It works the same as hairdressers and bartenders. I still can’t believe some of the things we talked about.
I began studying and researching marriage, self-improvement and homemaking skills during my first marriage of 21 years.
The first time I asked my first husband to go for help was 6 months into our marriage but he refused. I worked very hard to keep us together. I tried to live a biblical marriage but I was missing the mark and losing myself. I had a full library and a lot of knowledge but no success. My resources ran dry and I became very ill. When I insisted we get help, it all fell apart and it was easier for him to file for divorce than make any changes.
As a Christian, I didn’t believe in divorce and I was devastated. I didn’t believe I could remarry either. I have now done extensive research into divorce and remarriage and find the church leaders and biblical scholars throughout history have had many different stands on these issues. No wonder I was confused.
It was God Himself, in my greatest time of confusion, who showed me His grace and taught me about forgiveness. You can read more of my story here.
He gave me the freedom to marry my best friend. He continues to show me how to be a strong and confident woman who is irresistible to my new husband.
I have now been married to Neil for 22 years. (Yes, that’s 43 years I’ve been a wife.) It’s not perfect but it is magnificent. What is a magnificent marriage?
What I Share
I often get asked, especially in church circles, how we can be so happy. They know I feel no guilt or shame about my past . I am often approached by women and a few men who want to know how I reconciled my faith with my life.
The answer to that one is easy. I have a personal relationship with God because I accept the sacrifice Jesus made as a personal gift. I understand why He hates divorce and I know He has forgiven me and given me another chance to to be the wife I longed to be.
When asked about our marriage, the answers are a little more complicated.
- Commitment to wanting to be a cherished wife into our forever after. Understanding what I really want from my marriage.
- Discovering how to give my husband what he wants from me so he can instinctively and joyfully give to me what I want from him. Communication skills and learning about our differences and what binds us together.
- Becoming stronger and more confident so I can be irresistible and irreplaceable in a magnificent marriage I love. Learning to value myself to value my vows.
You can start renovating or building your own marriage by downloading “3 Steps to Reconnect and Reignite Your Relationships…Build a Firm Foundation of Love, Joy, and Peace for Your Marriage”
Why I started Value the Vows
As Neil and I approached retirement, we looked for ideas to add to our meagre retirement funds. We realized we both love to travel although we have only had a few trips and we want to escape the harsh winters on the Canadian Prairies.
We looked at several ideas for portable businesses. He has started copywriting which uses his English degree and love of writing. I started putting together an online magazine.
Finding a name for my ezine was difficult as everything I came up with was taken. Until one morning I awoke with Value the Vows, Bride for a Day…Wife for Life. I assumed it would be taken but I looked.
Of course it was available and meant for me.
I Was Being Called to Help Other Wives
As I began working with writers, I realized I had many of my own articles to write and kept waking with more ideas.
I knew I missed coaching and teaching so I took a coaching course to update the psychology and coaching techniques I already knew.
Even through my divorced years, I had the heart of a wife and I wanted to help other women of faith to get out of the guilt, shame and blame I had been stuck in. I knew I could help light their paths on their own journey to love, joy, and peace.
We aren’t meant to lose ourselves to keep a marriage alive. Instead I’ve discovered how finding our own joy and living in our strengths, builds the magnificent marriages we crave.
Whether you are looking for a small renovation, a huge restoration, or removing the ruins to rebuild, the same principles will work.
If you’re thinking about marriage or trying to heal a broken marriage or recovering from divorce, you can become a strong, confident and beautiful woman with a new appreciation for yourself, men, and the kind of marriage you’ll love.
To learn more about Nancy, keep in touch, and start reconnecting and reigniting your marriage, download your FREE eguide “3 Steps to Reconnect and Reignite Your Relationships…Build a Firm Foundation of Love, Joy, and Peace for Your Marriage”
A Few Comments About the Eguide
“Nancy reveals the steps you need to take to make lasting change, develop true intimacy, and create your best marriage.”
Sheree Page, Oakland, CA
“The guide helped me gain a clear understanding of the importance of my role as a wife. My husband and I have enjoyed a 20+ marriage, which we don’t take for granted. I related to Nancy’s experience and positive spin on life’s situations. The tips and tools she provided were a good refresher.”
Tracy Revoy, Saskatoon, SK